Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Men who do things without being told draw the most wages. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield - Quotes

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield - Quotes

Life is just a bowl of pits. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield - Quotes

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield - Quotes

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield - Quotes

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield - Quotes

My mother had morning sickness after I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield - Quotes

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield - Quotes

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Biography

Dangerfield during an open air show in New York in 1978

Rodney Dangerfield (born Jacob Cohen, November 22, 1921 – October 5, 2004), was an American comedian, and actor, known for the catchphrases "I don't get no respect" or "I get no respect, I tell ya" and his monologues on that theme. He is also famous for his 1980s film roles, notably in Easy Money, Caddyshack and Back To School.


Source:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodney_Dangerfield