FamousQuotes140: Emo Philips

Showing posts with label Emo Philips. Show all posts

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. - Emo Philips

England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'. - Emo Philips

Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist. - Emo Philips

I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!' - Emo Philips

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks. - Emo Philips

I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him. - Emo Philips

I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me. - Emo Philips

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them. - Emo Philips

I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy. - Emo Philips

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. - Emo Philips

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites. - Emo Philips

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